Mcleod Ganj, a suburb of Dharamsala, in India, is the headquarters of the Tibetan government-in-exile and home of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. After my wonderful time in Rishikesh, I was sad to rush to Dharamsala, thinking I would be in a mass of crowds trying to hear the Dalai Lama’s 3 day public teaching. My week in Mcleod was a fantastic confirmation to expect the unexpected and to trust that we are always exactly where we are meant to be, right here, right now.

Attending the public teachings are actually quite simple, queue for a bit at the Tibetan office, register with your passport and pitch up a few hours early at the Main Temple on the day of the teaching. Bring a cup, small radio for translation, a pillow to sit on, a note book and leave all phones and cameras behind. As I arrived at the temple, I wandered around trying to figure out where to sit. I actually sat in a spot for a bit but got really cold with the snowy mountain wind on my back so I moved around until I just decided, with a little frustration, ‘oh well, I must just sit anywhere now”. I didn’t realize I was sitting in the courtyard next to the passage where The Dalai Lama enters from his residence. So I sat there, unaware for an hour or two, taking in all the various people from all over the world, including a wonderfully large number of smiling Tibetans, sampling Tibetan butter tea and bread, offered to all of us by the monks.

Then everyone started standing up, I could feel a sense of excitement. I saw body guards, and some cameras and then low and behold, with a smile was so sweet and sincere, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama started walking down past all of us, gently placing his hands on various people along the way, paying special attention to old people and kids. There was this instant feeling of calm within the crowd. I have heard before that his loving and peaceful energy can be felt, but I did not expect it to be so powerful. I felt like a heard a voice saying “everything will be ok”. It brought me to tears. Just standing there, feeling his peaceful energy and love. The whole crowd was silent. For a brief moment. Time stood still. One little moment, I felt what true presence in the here and now feels like. what an absolute honour. I then heard him teach for just over an hour, which was such a privilege. Part of his first day of teaching was about wisdom , that we should never believe anything we are told, even by him or what Buddha taught. We should listen, and question everything and then find a way to experience things ourselves, rather than blindly following religions. It resonated with me so much. By engaging in study, reflecting, meditating, practicing, only then do we know true wisdom.

The following day, I happened to start chatting to two fellow South African women, who I connected with instantly and who I then spent a lot of time making memories with over the remainder of the week. I found that day was a lesson in expectation. I then knew there was a chance that I would see the Dalai Lama again, and when he walked past us, I was sad not to have the same feelings I did the day before. Yet seeing the look on Heather’s face as she saw him for the first time, filled my heart and reminded me what I had the day before. I realized it was a lesson in expectations and attachment to feelings that happened yesterday. Why would it be the same for me the second day? This was a completely different day.

On the third day, we sat again in the same place, now getting all chatty with the Tibetans around us. His teachings were so powerful, confirming that every one of us (every sentient being) has a Buddha nature, we all have kindness and compassion within us. Where the difference lies in whether we have a genuine wish to cherish and benefit all sentient beings, and how we act upon this. He spoke us through the Bodhisattva vows, to practice cherishing others over oneself and the actions we need to take. He asked us to commit to promoting love and compassion (“tell your friends to have a warm heart”, “we need religious harmony”, “we have to depend on community, because we are social beings”). His final words saying that the wisdom and knowledge that we have received from India can benefit the whole world. That the Buddhist Traditions (of the science of the mind, compassion, non-attachment, kindness) that the Tibetans have, can benefit the whole world. And he is so right, every moment a Tibetan smiled at me, I could see the kindness in their eyes and the joy in their smile. This is a nation that knows and practices true forgiveness and compassion.

There was so much that he said, and I don’t think my paraphrasing is doing it much justice. His teachings are on YouTube and also transcribed on his website, and every time I reread or re-listen, I find some new piece of wisdom from this truly enlightened being… so do yourselves a favor…

The remainder of the week was spent with Heather and Brigitte, shopping in the cute stores, eating momos, walking to the Bhagusu waterfall, drinking chai, doing yoga and a sound healing at Tibet World (a charitable organization), and best of all, visiting a healer named, Mahinder Kapoor, for healing massages. I ended up going to this amazing healer 3 times during the course of the week, and I felt with the seeds of the Dalai Lama’s teachings, the Yoga and the healings, things shifted within me.

The theme from my mantra in the Ashram, “I am love” came up quite strongly during my week in Mcleod Ganj. During the sound healing (with Tibetan singing bowls), I started my relaxation by focusing on that mantra. After a full hour, we all got up to roll our mats and leave, and next to the edge of my mat was a tiny heart shaped charm. I found it to be quite profound.

 On my final day in Mcleod, I got up early and went to the Dalai Lama temple again. I walked the 1.5km Kora loop around the whole complex, with my mala beads in my hand, I did the first Circumambulation along with diligent monks and nuns and so many old Tibetans going the kora, slowly and steady with their walking sticks in hand. At one point I sat for a moment, taking in the peaceful chanting of a monk nearby, thinking about the wisdom on loving kindness taught by His Holiness. Next thing I felt a tap on my knee, I looked down, and there was this stray dog, her paw on my knee, nudging me with her nose. So we sat for a while, paw in hand, just being in the moment together. I found this a wonderful moment of giving love to all sentient beings, even a few little tears. I then did the kora again, this time much more slowly and mindfully, turning each prayer wheel as I walked, chanting the mantra “Om Mane Padme Hum”.

After this I went to Mahinder for my final appointment. He looked at me and said “Just be here for you. You are here now”, I told him where I had been for the morning and that I was feeling emotional. He then said to me “You are a good person”, to which a replied in tears “most often I don’t feel like a good person”. “It’s ok”, he said, “ You are a human being”. I lay on the mat, tears rolling down as I felt like so much was released. Thinking about being a good person or not, thinking about the love I had just given to the stray dog. And then, during the healing, it dawned on me, maybe that stray dog didn’t come to me to get love from me. Maybe, she came to give love to me, maybe, just maybe, I am actually deserving of some love, from a stray dog at the Dalai Lama’s temple. Maybe my mantra, for now, should not be “I am love”, but maybe I first need to believe “I am loveD”
As I left Mahinder’s therapy room he said to me, “I don’t know your family or friends, or where you are from. But I SEE you. I see you are a good person”…And I thought, “well, I hardly see that myself”…. I have always thought I understood Self love. But something happened that day. That made me see the difference between believing that self love is important and truly feeling deserving of love. Listening to the Dalai Lama’s teachings of compassion for all sentient beings, made me realize how little compassion I have for myself.

Still rather emotional, I headed to the airport, and while waiting to board, I received another lesson in expecting the unexpected; The Dalai Lama landed from a day trip and walked towards arrivals, he passed all of us in departures. He stopped, smiled and waved. And I then realized that maybe, I have done some things right in my life (or previous lives) to have the good fortune of learning from one of the greatest teachers of our time. Maybe the compassion and love he sees in every sentient being, and that I most often only see in animals, is within us all, and is within me too.

My wish is that everyone realizes their own self worth and that they are deserving of love.
Whether is is fathers, mothers, siblings, ex’s, bosses, or partners that have made us feel unworthy or our own crazy beliefs that have created this notion we are not deserving of love… I hope everyone realizes that’s all it is… a crazy belief.