The Three Pillars of Holding Space: Self, Sacred, and Spirit
Space holding is about presence
How Deep Presence, Ancestry, and Energy Shape Transformative Spaces for Healing
In the world we live in today, I notice more and more people feeling the call to step forward as space holders—whether as coaches, healers, or simply as loving human beings supporting friends, family, or community. But what does it really mean to “hold space”? And how do we prepare ourselves to show up as conscious stewards of the emotions, energy, and wisdom that naturally arise when people gather with intention?
For me, it comes down to three foundational pillars that I return to again and again:
Self, the Sacred, and Spirit (or Space)
Holding space for others is a mix of love, light, and learning to sit with the shadow. True transformation happens when we honor all parts of ourselves, not just the easy ones.
1. Saying Yes to Self: The Courageous Path of Inner Work
For me, holding space always begins with holding myself. To say “yes” to holding space is also to say “yes” to all the parts of me—the radiant light and the soft, loving presence, but also the shadows, the triggers, and the messiness of being human.
This is the heart of my spiritual and healing path: a practice of radical acceptance.
My daily practices are how I nurture this relationship with myself. Sometimes it looks like journaling, meditation, time in nature, or dancing in my living room. But I’ve learned that my practices aren’t fixed—they shift depending on my season of life, my energy, and what I need. It’s not about perfection, but about listening and honouring where I am.
And every person I meet is a mirror. They reflect lessons, healing, and sometimes my own edges back to me. The invitation is to keep showing up with a beginner’s mind—open, curious, and willing to keep learning.
2. Honouring the Sacred: Ancestry, Lineage, and Cultural Roots
The second pillar is about reverence—for the sacred, for our ancestors, and for the traditions that shape us.
My own roots weave through European and African lineages, and connecting to these threads has been deeply grounding in my journey. But I believe we all carry a unique tapestry of ancestral wisdom, waiting to be remembered.
One of the simplest ways I connect is through a daily ritual: turning to my left and silently calling in the surnames of my mother’s line, and then to my right for my father’s side. This act of remembrance anchors me in gratitude for everyone who has come before me. And of course, ancestry isn’t only biological—chosen family, mentors, and even the ancestors of the lands we walk upon all live within this field of remembrance.
In our modern world, sacred practices often travel across cultures. For me, the key is approaching each practice with humility and respect—asking, “Where does this come from?” and “What does this truly mean?” The more I uncover the origins, the more potent and grounded the practice feels, because I’m not just borrowing a ritual, I’m connecting into the deep web of human wisdom that holds us all.
Healing isn’t solo work. When we commit to our own growth, we're also healing our ancestry—rooting ourselves deeply so we can reach for the sky, just like the tree.
3. Saying Yes to Spirit and Space: Creating Safe and Sacred Containers
The third pillar is about the energetic architecture of the spaces I hold.
One practice I often lean into is inspired by the medicine wheel—calling in the four directions, the elements, the earth, the sky, and spirit allies to create a living, breathing container. This ritual weaves a kind of protective, nurturing vortex that holds not only the people in the circle but also ripples outwards into the wider community and through time.
But here’s what feels important: this isn’t about religion or dogma. These practices can be adapted for any setting—even secular or corporate spaces—because what we’re really doing is invoking the energies of nature, of life itself. Whether we name them as fire, water, air, and earth—or simply as creativity, flow, breath, and grounding—it’s about connecting to what’s already around us and within us.
The key is authenticity, respect, and intuition.
embodiment is where the transformation happens.
Embodying the Three Pillars
Learning about these pillars is one thing—but embodiment is where the transformation happens.
In my spaces, I guide people through somatic practices to feel their own energy field: imagining a luminous bubble of light, rooted deep into the earth below, and stretching into the cosmos above. This is what I call energetic hygiene—it’s how we navigate the world with sovereignty, openness, and protection.
And I always remind myself and others: there is no “bad” energy. There is only heavy, dense energy longing to be transformed. With presence, awareness, and intention, we can cleanse and align our fields, and in doing so, contribute to a wider ripple of healing across the collective.
For me, holding space is not just about creating healing moments in a circle—it’s about embodying a way of being. By tending to self, honouring the sacred, and calling in spirit, we step into the world not just as facilitators, but as conscious co-creators of humanity’s unfolding journey.
